Gone are the days

If only a Hollywood producer were following me around today, I'm positive Adelaide would've landed the leading role of the next horror film involving a demon possessed, vomit spewing, latin speaking child. 

Lately, between teething, bouts of sickness brought home from the biological war zone (school) big sissy attends and who knows what else, hormones ? Can babies have raging hormones? I've been a little on edge. Gone our the days of the cute adorable twins who sit peaceful in their seats while onlookers gawk and dote over them. Instead my days are ruled by naptimes, feeding times and we are always 10 seconds away from pure chaos. 

Today I decided after breakfast, morning naps and yet another feeding, in between 3 loads of laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, planning next semester of grad school and making the bed I'd take the two bundles of joy for a walk. It's December, 57 degrees and sunny most days. I live on base and moved here to go on glorious walks with the kids, ride my bike with them, run with them, play at the park with them. Well today after she threw her sippy cup into the street, the blanket into someones yard and herself out of the stroller I may reconsider walks, at least until the bishop arrives for the exorcism ;) 

I'm pretty certain the 9 airman constructing the new firehouse down the street from our house enjoyed the spectacle of me trying to catch her as she (while strapped in) managed to wiggle out of one shoulder strap, arch her back and dive out of the stroller. I run to the front of the stroller catch her before she hits the ground and pick her up, all the while thinking I could make it better; yeah right. She had reached her stage 5 meltdown status, theres no way to come back from it, she either wanted the boob or her bed. I couldn't very well flop the ta ta's out on the sidewalk, so we had to figure out a way to get home, and get home quick. I strapped her back in and pushed a screaming, squirming, angry child home. All the while little Dawson sat quietly in the stroller. At least God blessed me with one easy baby ;) (the truth is they alternate) But anyway, we made it home. The first place Adelaide went was her crib, and 10 minutes later there was a glorious sound, well actually the glorious part was the silence. 

Just another day in the life; mommyhood  

25 Weeks

We just passed 25 weeks this past Sunday, September 23 :)

I met with Dr. A on Monday and had my weekly shot. I'm finally getting off the cervical check routine, I'll still see him weekly but to monitor the babies fluid levels as the medicine I'm on can reduce the amount of fluid but other than that things look pretty good. Again it's just week by week.

We went to see Katelyn sing at school/church on Sunday, she was precious, just smiled the entire time. Her dad is leaving this coming Sunday for Montana so I've been letting her just stay with him as much as she wants, it's going to be a really hard adjustment when she comes home this weekend and realizes her daddy doesn't live up the street anymore. I'm really worried about how the transition will go, I feel bad for her. But I will be happy to have her home, and able to set up a routine for homework, drama, horses, reading, bath time etc.

24 Weeks and Bored to Tears

Another week down, 6 weeks to go for another big milestone. We are now 24 weeks and had our appointment with Dr. Adashek this past Monday. It was the fun ultrasound of measuring the babies and watching them jump and kick on the big screen. They are growing like little weeds, starting to look less like aliens and more like adorable little children. We have concluded that they have my "non existent" chin as Brent says, and I think they have his nose. The profile pictures of them are priceless, I love staring at their features and dreaming about holding them in my arms.

This has been and still is an emotional roller coaster, filled with moments of joy followed by moments of sheer terror. I'm more uncomfortable than ever, I can't sleep, find a comfortable position or even touch my toes anymore. My weight gain is really great though, for having two babies that each weigh close to 2 pounds in my belly plus all the fluid and their placentas I've only gained 32 pounds :) If I could get out to run off some energy I'm sure I'd feel better and have less trouble sleeping, but that just isn't in the cards, I must take it easy.

While meeting with Dr. A we watched my dynamic cervix open all the way to a 2 and baby A put his foot against my cerclage, there just isn't anything anyone can do, we just have to take it day by day. The biggest fear is my water breaking because of the funneling and pressure of two babies with lots of amniotic fluid. So I must keep my booty in the sitting position most of the time. I'm taking medication now every 8 hours to help with contractions (I can't feel them) and in an effort to keep things going smoothly, Dr. A says 30 weeks is a huge milestone for me given my situation. He will relax a bit once we get there he says, I'm thankful for such a wonderful doctor who sees me weekly and checks on me to make sure I'm ok, he really is a blessing.

I keep trying to focus on exciting things and don't pay much attention to the real possiblility of them being born at any moment, fear and anxiety can't be good, so most of the time I'm busy planning my dream birth, imaginarily dressing them, thinking about feeding them and dreaming about seeing their fathers face the first time he sees them. I can only imagine how he will react, a step-father who finally has his own children, I'm sure the love and joy will overflow from him. It's something I can't wait to witness and something I'm so excited to give him. I'm thankful to be his wife and the mother of his children, I'm blessed beyond measure.

The countdown to the baby shower is on! I can't wait! I'm like a little kid at Christmas, I have amazing women in my life who support me and make me feel special, October 7th will be a wonderful way to have fun and forget about all the craziness going on in my life!

Painted Countertops

After three years of ugly white countertops I took matters into my own hands and decided to paint them. Brent was a little nervous to say the least but I just couldn't take them any longer and new countertops where out of the question.

I primed them with a cheap ($14) all purpose primmer from Lowes. I also had them tint it a nice neutral color, but wish I'd gone darker with my primer choice, something I learned later.

I then went to Michaels the craft store and picked out three acrylic paint colors I liked (all shades of browns and tans) and I grabbed a bottle of metallic brown to add some spunk and shine to my creation. After looking at the sponges I decided on one round synthetic sponge and a package of 4-5 natural sea sponges to give my counters different textures.

Once I started I began to feel sick to my stomach, my counters looked like a speckled puppy. I kept dabbing paint and realized "hey it's paint, I can start over if I don't like it" so I got a little more comfortable with my project and really started laying on the layers and playing with my color pallet. With each layer I became more content with my choices and realized they were in fact looking pretty fabulous!

Once I had the pattern I liked I added some metallic sporadically in the mix to give it an extra flare.

Brent did the research on sealing the countertops, I wanted to use a few coats of minwax or something but he wanted them really shinny he said. We decided to use a pour on sealer called Evirotech Lite, sold at Michaels. The problem with that was the mixture only came in 32oz boxes and cost 32 dollars. The 32 oz box only covered 8 square feet, we knew we'd need at least 4 boxes so I started clipping the 40% coupons so buy the sealer.

Now the sealer was no fun at all to put on and there is a huge learning curve. One it says don't brush it on/out. If we had done this our project would have failed as the mixture doesn't run together as it claims. Using a paint brush I evenly distributed it as Brent poured it on the countertops. If you want to try this, I suggest googling the products helpful tips and there is a great website. If you don't mix it properly it will never cure and you have a failed project and no way to fix it besides buying those new counters you didn't want to pay for. READ THE DIRECTIONS :)

Once it was on we let it sit for about 10 min and Brent took a butane torch to our creation to help get ride of bubbles, be careful not to hold the flame to close or you'll get ripples in the sealer (we have a few because we didn't pay close attention) Again I would read the helpful tips, which I will have a link to at the end of this post.

After 48 hours we put the sink back in and marveled in our work. We couldn't be happier with our countertops and we only spent around 200 dollars for the makeover.

Before

After Primer

When I was worried (First two coats)

After 4-5 coats with different colors

Much Better :)

Ready for Sealer

Sealed!

Complete, love it! What a difference, from cold and sterile to warm and inviting.

22 Weeks

Well folks we've made it to 22 weeks and my belly button is officially an outie!

I'm happy to report things seem to be going smoothly on the baby front, just taking it easy and trying to get these babies to 36 weeks.

We had an amazing week with our family, Brent's parents flew in and helped us for 5 days. My house has never been so clean and organized! We feel blessed to have such sweet and helpful people in our lives.

Top things that have happened this week;

Father -in- law vs. man hole cover with the Jetta-the man hole cover won with 1,500 in damages to the car.

I officially started my masters program.

Brent started back to school, he has three classes this semester including senior seminar.......eeekkk

Appointment with Dr. Adeshek-we observed Mr. Disobedient putting his foot where it shouldn't be, through the small opening of my cervix. I can already tell he's going to be our problem child, lol

My dad's island in the Philippines was hit by a 7.5 earthquake and we are still waiting to hear from him.....:(

On a happy positive note my girlfriend Cara made me feel beautiful by giving me a new haircut in the comfort of my kitchen :)

My friend Megan made me zucchini bread, my favorite

Veronica made us dinner, and so did Erica :)

Finally a faraway friend Heather sent me a bed rest survival package including games, nail polish, bath soaks, magazines and a journal :)



Cara also helped me organize and add things to my baby registry :) Apparently I didn't have enough stuff :) She also helped me find an awesome baby carrier I must have. So cute !
http://www.becobabycarrier.com/cat-17/gemini-LE

Oh and my girlfriend Chelsea Robbins is our birth photographer, I can't wait to see the magical images she captures on our special day. I feel blessed to have a friend with such a talent be a part of my birth, c-section or vbac whatever the case my be.......Check out her work
http://chelsearobbinsphotography.blogspot.com/

New Hair!

21 Weeks Barely

This past week has been overwhelming, scary and a blur. Everything has been great so far, the picture perfect pregnancy. I've been taking fabulous care of myself and eating the most healthy nutritious foods possible. My weeks have included multiple trips to water aerobics, lunch dates with friends, horse back riding lessons with Katelyn and so much more.

Tuesday was any other day, Katelyn's summer break was winding down and my Bradley Method coach,  photography buddy and bff (all the same awesome chick) decided to have a breakfast date followed by a mini photo shoot. She really needed some belly pics for my shower invites, exciting! :) After breakfast and the photo shoot I had a doctors appointment scheduled at Desert Perinatal Associates with Dr. Adeshek (amazing). I had plans to tell him I was switching to Dr. Harter to attempt my VBAC. It was all planned, right down to my conversation with him. Well little did I know so much had changed since my last routine visit, and all my plans were about to change. I guess it's true what they say, life happens when your busy making plans.

So about the doctors visit, we arrive and walk into the room with the large flat screen T.V. mounted on the wall in front of the table so we can see our little  bundles of joy in 52 inch HD. I lay down and wait for Mary Jo our ultrasound tech to get started. She begins by saying this is going to take awhile because she has to be very careful to measure each baby's growth, all is well and we watch the T.V, in awe. Katelyn is in the room taking in the images on the screen as well, she's interested but over it in about 5 minutes. Typical 6 year old attention span but cute nonetheless asking questions about her siblings. Mary Jo then tells us there is a pediatric cardiologist who will be observing the ultrasound as well, it seems at our last visit Baby A showed some extra fluid around his heart so Dr. A wanted to make sure all was well. He called a specialist in to observe and with that in walked the Dr. who assured us even though baby A has more fluid it's within the normal range and we shouldn't worry. He will be monitoring Baby A (our baby boys) heart closely over the next couple of weeks. Then the question comes from Mary Jo........"Do you feel any pressure, pelvic pressure"  I answer "yes" thinking nothing of it, afterall I am carrying two babies.

The mood stays the same, on the up and up, Mary Jo is a professional she isn't giving anything away. She concludes and says "I'll be back with Dr. Adeshek" nothing out of the normal, he always comes in to talk and measure my cervical length.........We sit waiting with an impatient six year old and then the knock and open of the door.....it's Dr. A and he doesn't look happy.

He says, "Well I hear your having some pressure ?" "Mary Jo thinks she saw something and I'm going to take a look" "Two seconds later we are all looking at this opening of what looks like Pac Man's mouth on the 52 inch TV. Problem is that isn't Pac Man, it's my cervix and it's open, baby A is trying to push his way out. Now insert panic into everyones mood. The exact words are a blur I don't remember much after this other than Dr. A saying I need an emergency cerclage and a shot to stop contractions. He says the babies will be born in a day or so if I don't have the procedure and so an OR was booked for the following day. I was told to go home and lay in bed, no movement or walking except to the bathroom and to the car for the surgery the following day. I just remember thinking "this can't be real, I feel great, the babies are healthy, everything is fine" The reality was nothing was fine, everything was going wrong and at 20 weeks. These babies don't have a shot at 20 weeks, so with that I went home and waited, still in shock.

Wednesday was of course Katelyn's first day of First Grade so I made Brent drive me to school so I could at least hug her before she went to class (her dad took her that morning) Then we headed to the hospital. I checked into Labor and Delivery and they took me to "my room" thats when I knew this wasn't an in and out sort of thing. I waited for my op time of 12:30 and about 20 min before Dr. Adeshek came in to chat with us, he's so sweet and compassionate someone I can't even begin to describe. He helped answer questions and ease our fears and then he helped wheel me back to the OR. Asking if I was scared and talking to me about what he was going to do, how it would help and what I needed to concentrate on, then in the OR he and the nurse held my hand as my spinal was placed and my legs became numb (a feeling I despise). I talked the entire time to try and settle my nerves, I even gave him a hard time about his choice of music (he had his iphone plugged in playing music) Then while he was trying to stitch my incompetent and crappy cervix closed he preceded to tell me how much worse it was than yesterday and how worried he was about the entire situation. Thanks doc, not much I can do at this point except panic more, he tries to reassure me but his genuine surprise about the situation says it all. The nurses even gasp as baby A's amniotic sac can be seen, then I feel some sharp tugs and pulls and he explains he's almost finished. Then the next bad news comes, "Your cervix is very very soft, it should feel like the end of your nose, and yours feels like the webbing between your thumb and pointer finger. The next words out of his mouth are "bed rest" and thats about where my mind wonders, how on earth can I be on bed rest, I was just at the YMCA two days ago. Ugh .......

It took 7 hours for the spinal to wear off, they said it would only take 2-3. Trust me, nothing is ever "normal" with me. I clawed myself to death as the drugs wore off, my stomach and legs red from me scratching. Brent was ready to tie my hands to the bed, it's the worst I hate when those meds start to wear off, I itch uncontrollably. Again, another reason I don't want a C-section.

I guess I should be concentrating on getting these babies to 36 weeks and less on my delivery method, at this point Dr. A says all we can do is pray and take it week by week, or even day by day.

So here's to making 4 days past my surgery.


Pictures before the chaos

19 Weeks

We are already almost half way there! I have been on a sort of scavenger hunt/adventure to find a doctor who will support my birth plan. It hasn't been easy but I think we've finally found the right one. After having a C-section with Katelyn (6) I knew I never wanted another one unless it was absolutely medically necessary. I wish I had been mature enough to understand the seriousness of inventions and birth and the slippery slope one goes down when they enter the hospital to deliver their little bundles of joy. Now armed with a wealth of information and surrounded by supportive friends and family I know that even with twins I can accomplishing my dream birth. I want to hold by babies immediately after they are born, to feel that connection, to gaze into their eyes and to nurse them, all things I was robbed of with my first birth. VBAC's are growing in popularity and research evidence supports their safety, however finding a doctor to support you is almost impossible. Midwives have long been advocates for VBAC's and natural birth, but doctors on the other hand haven't been as supportive. Also hospitals and their rules and regulations interfere with VBAC's. Here in Las Vegas there is only one doctor in the valley who will attend VBAC's and hospital water births, thank goodness for him, otherwise we moms would be at the mercy of every other OB who schedules repeat C-sections. Sometimes I just want to scream "I am not broken" ! Currently we see a high risk doctor who is nothing short of amazing and he is more compassionate than any man I've met, but he to wants me to schedule a repeat c-section, just pick a day in the 37th week......Who can do that ? I can't, I want my babies to come when they are ready, not on the day I randomly pick!

Pregnancy Notes:
Cravings Eggs and salty foods, nothing sweet

Maternity Clothes Oh yes, I haven't seen my size 3 jeans in months. Thanks to great friends I have a super cute wardrobe of hand-me downs.

Baby Movement About two weeks go I started feeling little movements and now Brent can even feel movement, just not all the time, and you have to pay close attention

MilestonesTwo weeks ago we found out baby A is a Boy and baby B is a girl

NamesPoor kids still don't have names, we can't decide

Sleeping I've officially reached that stage of ZERO tummy sleeping, and I'm already not enjoying bedtime

Pain Horrible SI joint pain, I sit on my ball and rock and beg people to rub my back

ContractionsNon yet, and lets keep it that way!

Thoughts about babies The only thing I really think about at the moment is the actual birth, I'm consumed with thoughts about it. I read everything I can about natural birth, I read blogs, I talk to other moms. Poor Brent can't enter a room without me talking about birth.

Fears That I end up with a traumatic birth experience again

Childbirth Education We have our first Bradley Method class tonight with a great friend as our teacher, we are super excited. I'm so thankful to share this experience with her, and can't wait to learn everything she knows.